Videos

Der US-amerikanische Psychologe und Autor des Buches Unmasking Narcissism – A guide to understanding the narcissist in your life, Dr. Mark Ettensohn, betreibt einen Youtube-Kanal mit hervorragenden Informationen zum Thema. Anders als nahezu alle, der inzwischen in großer Zahl verfügbaren Kanäle, welche regelmäßig eine dämonisierende Haltung einnehmen, ist Ettensohn bemüht, Narzissmus als die schwere psychische Störung darzustellen, die er ist und zu betonen, was zu oft überhaupt nicht gesagt wird: Auch Narzissten leiden! Sie wollen keine Narzissten sein und haben sich ihre kognitiv-emotionalen Einschränkungen und Barrieren nicht ausgesucht. Es wird empfohlen, mit den ersten, also frühesten Videos im Kanal zu beginnen und sich dann schrittweise neueren zu widmen.

In this Weekly Insight, Dr. Mark Ettensohn addresses a question that frequently arises in discussions of narcissism and abuse: Is it possible to maintain accountability without dehumanizing? Can someone preserve firm boundaries without abandoning empathy? Dr. Ettensohn clarifies a distinction he often sees misunderstood. When he speaks about compassion toward pathological narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder, he is referring to a cultural and societal stance, not advising individuals to remain in unsafe or harmful relationships. He emphasizes that safety must always come first. If someone is being harmed, the primary question is not whether the other person “knew what they were doing,” but whether the situation is safe and what steps are necessary to ensure protection. The episode explores the gray area between total innocence and calculated malice. Dr. Ettensohn discusses how dissociation and shifting self states can impair consistent self-awareness in personality disorders, while also making clear that impaired awareness is not the same as blamelessness. He examines how behavior driven by triggered trauma states may later be rationalized from a different organizing center of experience, and why this dynamic is often misinterpreted as deliberate manipulation. Finally, the discussion turns to boundaries. Dr. Ettensohn distinguishes kindness from niceness and empathy from permissiveness, arguing that the most empathic stance can sometimes be a firm refusal of access. The episode concludes by asserting that accountability does not require demonization, and that it is possible to reject harmful behavior without reducing a person to a monster. Additional Resources Website: https://healnpd.org Newsletter: https://healnpd.substack.com Assessment and therapy inquiries: https://healnpd.org/contact Purchase Unmasking Narcissism: A Guide to Understanding the Narcissist in Your Life: https://amzn.to/3nG9FgH SUBSCRIBE: https://rb.gy/kbhusf LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/cklpum LISTEN ON GOOGLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/fotpca LISTEN ON AMAZON MUSIC: https://rb.gy/g4yzh8 BECOME A MEMBER: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHeT5kujD1JqHRAi-x8xD-w/join
Accountability Without Dehumanization
This excerpt is taken from a members-only Heal NPD livestream, recorded as part of a live, unscripted conversation with members. In this segment, Dr. Mark Ettensohn and Dr. Deanna Young discuss why psychological integration is not about eliminating difficult parts of the self, but about building reflective capacity and learning to tolerate internal conflict and relational complexity. This livestream is available for channel members at the Heal NPD Companion tier, which offers access to these live conversations, where ideas are developed in real time rather than presented as polished lectures. BECOME A MEMBER: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHeT5kujD1JqHRAi-x8xD-w/join Watch the full discussion: https://youtube.com/live/JjfLbsBuNjA
How Integration Happens in NPD
In this excerpt from our Seminar Series, Dr. Ettensohn and associates examine why people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are often experienced as lacking empathy, particularly in close relationships. Rather than reflecting a global absence of empathy, empathic breakdowns in narcissistic functioning are often context-dependent. This segment explores how empathy may be intact or even robust in some situations, yet collapse in moments involving emotional closeness, criticism, shame, or perceived threat to self-esteem. What appears as indifference or unwillingness is frequently rooted in affective overwhelm, defensive withdrawal, or unstable self-states. Drawing on clinical examples and contemporary research, the discussion differentiates between motivational disengagement in more grandiose states and deficit-based empathic shutdown in vulnerable states. These patterns can alternate within the same individual, contributing to confusion for partners, clinicians, and patients themselves. Understanding empathy in NPD as a dynamic and internally constrained capacity—rather than a fixed moral deficit—allows for more accurate clinical formulation and more effective, less stigmatizing treatment approaches. This excerpt reflects our broader approach to understanding narcissistic pathology as a disorder of self-regulation and attachment, rather than a simple lack of care or concern for others. Watch the full video here: https://youtu.be/SDKbARRpAUM Citation for the article discussed: Baskin-Sommers A, Krusemark E, Ronningstam E. Empathy in narcissistic personality disorder: from clinical and empirical perspectives. Personal Disord. 2014 Jul;5(3):323-33. doi: 10.1037/per0000061. Epub 2014 Feb 10. PMID: 24512457; PMCID: PMC4415495. Full text link: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4415495/ Thumbnail Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash
Why People With NPD SEEM to Lack Empathy
In this excerpt from our Seminar Series, Dr. Ettensohn and associates discuss why grandiosity and vulnerability in narcissistic functioning are often misunderstood as separate or opposing categories. Rather than viewing narcissism as an either/or distinction, this segment explores how grandiose and vulnerable self-states frequently coexist within the same person. Overt confidence may conceal underlying fragility, just as overt vulnerability can mask entitled or grandiose expectations. These dynamics are not static but shift depending on context, stress, and internal regulation. Understanding narcissism as a dynamic, internally conflicted system rather than a single trait or personality type helps clarify why rigid definitions based solely on grandiosity fail to capture clinical reality. This excerpt reflects our broader approach to understanding narcissistic pathology as a disorder of self-esteem regulation rather than a collection of surface behaviors. Watch the full video here: https://youtu.be/Nh-Or62MNjw
Grandiosity and Vulnerability: The Two Sides of NPD
Narcissistic Personality Disorder has become one of the most stigmatized labels in mental health. For many people, the fear isn’t the symptoms themselves. It’s what the diagnosis is believed to mean. In this video excerpt, Dr. Mark Ettensohn and his associates discuss how the cultural portrayal of narcissism has turned the diagnosis into something people experience as catastrophic, toxic, or even dehumanizing. This stigma creates a major barrier to assessment, treatment, and engagement, especially for individuals whose self-esteem is already fragile and unstable. The result is a paradox: a disorder defined by shame and emotional dysregulation is discussed in a way that intensifies both. This clip explores: • Why the NPD diagnosis itself can be destabilizing • How stigma interferes with care and treatment engagement • Why harm to others is not a defining feature of any mental disorder • How cultural narratives about narcissism distort clinical reality Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/Nh-Or62MNjw
Why People Are Afraid to Be Diagnosed With NPD
In this seminar excerpt, Dr. Mark Ettensohn explains why research does not support the idea that narcissism itself predicts abusive or controlling behavior. Drawing on a recent empirical study, he clarifies the difference between personality style (e.g. narcissism) and overall personality dysfunction (i.e. disorder), and why severity of personality impairment is a more meaningful predictor of coercive control and abuse than narcissism alone. This distinction helps explain why some individuals with narcissistic traits are not abusive, while severe personality pathology of many styles can lead to relational harm. Note on language: When Dr. Ettensohn refers to whether narcissism “causes” abuse in this excerpt, he is using the term in a loose, conversational sense. Psychological traits do not mechanistically cause behavior. What’s being discussed here is whether narcissism meaningfully predicts or accounts for abusive behavior when considered alongside overall personality severity and functioning. Watch the full video here: https://youtu.be/o81j8xwDPks
Narcissism Explains Style, Not Severity
This video continues the Heal NPD Seminar Series with Dr. Mark Ettensohn, joined by his associates Deanna Young, Psy.D., and Danté Spencer, M.A. In this session, the group examines a recent empirical study titled Coercive Control and Intimate Partner Violence: Relationship with Personality Disorder Severity and Pathological Narcissism (2025). The discussion responds directly to common claims in online discourse that narcissism inherently causes abuse, and asks a more precise question: What does the data actually show about the relationship between narcissism, personality dysfunction, abuse, and coercive control? The study reviewed draws on informant reports from long-term partners and family members of individuals perceived as highly narcissistic. Importantly, narcissism was rated by loved ones rather than self-reported, addressing a frequent critique of prior research. The findings showed no significant association between overall pathological narcissism and abuse, and only weak associations with coercive control. In contrast, overall personality disorder severity showed stronger and more consistent relationships with both abuse and coercive control, but these associations were still mostly weak. The group explores what this means clinically, emphasizing the distinction between personality style (such as narcissistic features) and personality organization or severity. The discussion clarifies why certain narcissistic subcomponents, such as exploitative behavior, entitlement-related rage, and grandiose fantasy, show limited associations with specific forms of harm, while many other narcissistic features do not. Key themes include: - The difference between episodic abuse and chronic coercive control - Why collapsing abuse into a single personality label is misleading - The role of personality severity and impaired functioning across diagnoses - The limits of trait-based and moralized explanations of harm - Clinical implications for assessment, treatment, and stigma reduction Throughout, the conversation situates abuse as a highly overdetermined phenomenon influenced by many overlapping factors, rather than the inevitable outcome of narcissism or any single diagnosis. The session concludes by emphasizing the importance of dimensional, developmentally informed models of personality over reductive and stigmatizing narratives. This series is intended for clinicians, trainees, and viewers seeking a nuanced, non-moralizing understanding of narcissism, personality disorder severity, and relational harm. To learn more about our work, visit: www.HealNPD.org Additional Resources: Newsletter: https://healnpd.substack.com Assessment and therapy inquiries: https://healnpd.org/contact Purchase Unmasking Narcissism: A Guide to Understanding the Narcissist in Your Life: https://amzn.to/3nG9FgH SUBSCRIBE: https://rb.gy/kbhusf LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/cklpum LISTEN ON GOOGLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/fotpca LISTEN ON AMAZON MUSIC: https://rb.gy/g4yzh8 Article Cited and Discussed: Day, N. J. S., Kealy, D., Biberdzic, M., Green, A., Denmeade, G., & Grenyer, B. F. S. (2025). Coercive control and intimate partner violence: Relationship with personality disorder severity and pathological narcissism. Personality and Mental Health, 19, e70038. Full text link: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdfdirect/10.1002/pmh.70038
2025 Study: Narcissism Does Not Predict Abuse
In this episode, Dr. Mark Ettensohn examines a common defense of online “narcissistic abuse” content: the claim that, even if imperfect or inaccurate, it ultimately helps people leave harmful relationships. Rather than focusing on whether such content feels validating or empowering, Dr. Ettensohn explores the ethical and psychological implications of justifying misinformation, stigma, and moralized diagnostic narratives on the basis of perceived outcomes. He argues that this form of reasoning relies on a utilitarian logic that is fundamentally incompatible with responsible mental health communication. The discussion addresses why narc abuse frameworks often feel compelling to people in distress, how diagnostic language becomes moralized and expanded beyond its clinical meaning, and how this process reshapes viewers’ understanding of themselves, others, and psychology itself. Dr. Ettensohn distinguishes between recognizing real harm and adopting explanatory models that flatten psychological complexity, foreclose on nuance, and encourage rigid, adversarial interpretations of relational experience. The episode also clarifies common misunderstandings about pathological narcissism, emphasizing that narcissism is not synonymous with abusive behavior and that even when narcissistic pathology is present, it does not explain behavior in a deterministic or morally absolute way. Drawing on clinical ethics, developmental theory, and real-world examples, Dr. Ettensohn outlines why anger and moral clarity can be mobilizing without requiring diagnostic distortion or dehumanization. This video concludes with a reflection on boundaries in public mental health discourse and the importance of maintaining accuracy, restraint, and humanization when discussing stigmatized conditions. Referenced video: https://youtu.be/UW2XAqmLnrs Additional Resources Website: https://healnpd.org Newsletter: https://healnpd.substack.com Assessment and therapy inquiries: https://healnpd.org/contact Purchase Unmasking Narcissism: A Guide to Understanding the Narcissist in Your Life: https://amzn.to/3nG9FgH SUBSCRIBE: https://rb.gy/kbhusf LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/cklpum LISTEN ON GOOGLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/fotpca LISTEN ON AMAZON MUSIC: https://rb.gy/g4yzh8 BECOME A MEMBER: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHeT5kujD1JqHRAi-x8xD-w/join
Weekly Insight 40: Ethics of Narc Abuse Content: Why 'It Helps' Isn't Enough
Dipping into narc abuse content after a breakup is common. But some become consumed, losing touch with reality. Critical thought shuts down from emotional appeals. Full video: https://youtu.be/UW2XAqmLnrs #Narcissism #AbuseAwareness #MentalHealth #ToxicRelationships
Narc Abuse Narrative: From Breakup to Obsession #shorts
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